


Puzzle Piece

by kissumi



Category: Given (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Angst/Hurt, Exes, First Love, M/M, anyway the given movie really made me cry i had to write this, op likes suffering and it shows, this doesn't have a happy ending gomen, this is basically just haruki's thoughts and pain i'm so sorry, uenoyama's just mentioned btw, uhh idk how to tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 23:33:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29462055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kissumi/pseuds/kissumi
Summary: "How often do you think about me?""Every day. Probably way more than I should."
Relationships: Kaji Akihiko/Murata Ugetsu, Kaji Akihiko/Nakayama Haruki
Comments: 3
Kudos: 17





	Puzzle Piece

Tight is the grip on Haruki's phone beside his ear, his fingers trembling the second he hears Akihiko's respire from the other side, steady and calm. Unlike his.

“Hey,” Akihiko suddenly speaks, and in an instant, he finds himself closing his eyes — letting the sweet tone of his voice engulf his entire being, giving him more warmth than the thousands of blankets he's wrapped in.  
His lower lip trembles when he attempt to let out a mere greeting, so he just limits himself to a weak and soft hum that Akihiko barely hears. He's fidgeting with the edges of his blankets, unable to say anything that’s currently running through his head, too scared that it might lead Akihiko to leave him. Again.

“Uenoyama told me that you haven't been going out in days,” Akihiko starts, “I called to check up on you. Are you okay?”

Those words leave his lips like they’ve been dying to be heard from Haruki, to be tasted bitterly — the effects leaving him an aftertaste of nostalgia.  
There’s a slight urge to yell at him and hang up but in silence he remains, his voice still echoing through his ears. He's left imagining Akihiko sitting on his bed as well, a frown on his face for worry to linger on. And he curses at himself for even remembering his face so vividly, like not seeing him for more than a year is just a nightmare he’d wish he could wake up from.

And even after more than a year, Akihiko Kaji, his ex boyfriend, is still too good for him. He’s still, the caring person that he’s always been and he wants to hate him for that.  
He wants to hate him for being so caring, selfless and even adamant, of his own choices. He wants to curse at Akihiko for calling him this late at night through his tears and sobs. He hates how Akihiko always has the perfect timing for everything. 

Even after the two of them have nothing to do with each other anymore, it’s like he’s still heard his heart shattering from the bottom of his soul.  
Because Akihko knows that heart like the back of his hand. He knows when that heart is happy, when it used to beat against his chest whenever he pulled him close when all there was at that time was just the two of them, and the rest of the world. And he knows when that heart is crying, begging, shattering like the pieces of the future he has broken the moment he put an end to the relationship. 

So there’s no reason for him to hate on Akihiko. And there will never be, for him to despise someone that he still has feelings for.  
“I was thinking about you,” those words slip out of his lips and he knows it’s too late to even take them back. If he can’t afford to take back simple words, there’s less of a chance to take back the person who once pledged to call him his for the rest of his life.

There’s a suffocating silence on the other side of his phone. Akihiko seems indecipherable, he can’t tell what he’s thinking, he can’t tell what he’s about to say and he's left frustrated. He feels so close but so far away and there’s not even a slight chance that he can reach the shattered pieces of his broken heart anymore.

“How often do you think about me?”

He's quick to respond, not even hesitating a bit. If this is the last night he’ll ever be able to hear his voice and feel his presence like he’s still a part of him, then he's surely never going to let this go, “Every day. Probably way more than I should.”

His words weigh all the pain he's been keeping to himself and there’s not a single lie Akihiko can filter through his broken voice. He wants to tell him more about it, about the two years that left him wandering through the path that the blond has left him at but, it’s none of his business. Not anymore.

And his heart feels stuck in his throat, the grip on his phone getting softer as minutes pass by as he lets out a sigh before Akihiko can even give a respond to his statement because of one thing he's sure, is that his answer will definitely hurt him more than his own words.

Haruki knows, he knows too damn well, that not every first love lasts forever. And Akihiko's an exception.  
First love comes, it gives you feelings you've never felt before and keep you desperately asking for more as you slowly start to become addicted to it and then, they go. Leaving you alone surrounded by a haze as the paths that once gave a direction to your future start to shift, bringing you back to the start line.

And Akihiko's timing, something that he's never failed to be good at, was perfect too, the second he confessed his unconditional love to Haruki that night of spring. Everything was perfect, as if the pieces of his broken heart were back at their respective place like puzzle pieces.  
But the puzzle seems to represent none other than the one and only person Akhiko has never dared to forget not even an inch of his face, even if he wanted to. A puzzle, which pieces parted like two souls' dreams, piercing through with a two-edged sword, leaving the most painful part to Haruki.

“It's okay if you don't say anything," he lets out a sigh, his chest suddenly feeling heavy, "I got the invitation, too. Congrats on your engagement with Ugetsu, Akihiko."


End file.
